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FILM REVIEW: ORPHAN

August 09, 2009

"I like it when it's just the two of us. You don't know how long I've waited for a daddy just like you."

What do you get when two stupid people, one a recovering alchie, adopt a manipulative psychopathic little bitch murderer? You get a movie called Orphan. This movie is something else man. It goes there, it really fucking goes there. This girl does it all, she threatens to chop off little Danny's dick, she lights shit on fire, she kills a nun, she comes on to her drunk father, yea it goes there.

The parents in this movie are really stupid, but then again most main characters in horror movies are stupid. It's frustrating when the main characters problem could easily be avoided with one simple solution. The house is haunted, ok then just leave. My kid's toy is talking and walking around wielding a knife, ok drop the fucking tv on him and tie the piece of shit up. Anyway...

If you're in the mood to watch a little brat murdering bitch with an annoying accent destroy a family of pea brain idiots than this is the movie you've been waiting for. This is your Citizen Kane, have fun!






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