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MOMMY SAID TURN IT DOWN!

October 28, 2009

So, The Stepfather is a remake of a movie by the same name, I never saw the original so I can't compare the two. I really think its lame that Hollywood keeps remaking movies. It's really unoriginal, and yea, you can talk about how there's only a handful of stories that just keep getting rehashed in new ways but that's just it, its at least new. I don't think I can remember any remake that was better than the original or even close but that's a whole other topic i suppose.

The Stepfather is about a family devoid of trust and common sense, the equation for any horror film really. This family acts as if they are strangers when it comes to the trust department. I don't know bout ya'll but if I told mommy that her new bf was a murdering psychopath you best believe she'd at least take it into consideration.

The mother in this movie is a love sick wino who don't care what her son thinks about her new murdering S.O.B. of a boyfriend/fiancee. She's oblivious to any clue that comes her way, I think all that wine went straight to her fucking numbskull.

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She hears a sound and thinks, "oh well can't be my fiancee doing something supremely fucked up, no possible way!" Her fiancee physically abuses her youngest son, "oh well, that kid did have his ps3 a little too loud!" This grade A ho doesn't even act too surprised when David, the psychopathic stepfather, reveals himself in the end. This ho is a love sick puppy and the cure is her own death.

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The son is probably the smartest one...but I still wouldn't cheat off him during the math test, if you know what I mean. I'm sure you've heard the theory that some guys look for qualities of their own mother in the women they choose to be with. This dude is definitely one of those guys, he chooses to go out with a dumb blond that's just as dumb or dumber than his mother. All this bitch wants to do is play in the pool, she's like a goddamn infant except sluttier and trying to be ScarJo.

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And doesn't that dude look like the kid from Phil of the Future?

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I think the only thing that could have saved this movie is if it was called Phil of the Future: The Movie. It actually would have been genius...






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