August 22, 2010

I thought Diary of a Wimpy Kid was going to be about a sweet little wimpy kid who gets picked on at school. I guess the movie is about that, but its also about how this little wimpy kid is also one cocky son of a bitch.

The movie is about this kid, Greg Heffley, who thinks he's the shit and nobody in school feels the same way about him except his fatso friend, Rowley. The saddest part of Greg's existence is that he will do anything to get ahead in the social scene at school. He'll throw Rowley in front of gah dang bus if he thinks people will accept him and want to sit near him at lunch. Greg Heffley's whole existence is set on becoming a popular kid at school, that is why he is a little whore.

I was honestly surprised at how much of a dickhead this little kid was because he's the main dude in the film. Usually the protagonist of a movie is someone like-able, someone the audience can feel for, someone the audience roots for. I kept hoping that someone would pull a Columbine on this fucking middle school and have Greg Heffley be their prime target. I would maniacally laugh with sheer glee and pleasure to watch this little shit run as his gun totting friend Rowley chases him through the corridors with an Armalite AR-10 Carbine-gas semiautomatic, bitterly pumping round after round into teachers and fellow students before blowing Heffley's head open and serving up a brain stew for hot lunch.

Towards the end of the movie Greg loses his only friend Rowley, even Rowley can't stand to be around such a cocky fuck. Before the movie is over they do reconcile their friendship though. Greg Heffley stands up for Rowley, I guess he realizes Rowley is the only one who's ever gonna be his friend anyway.

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