TEETH

Maybe it was all the severed dicks. Maybe it was the two girls I watched it with laughing their heads off with every dick being severed. I don't know. The whole thing sort of overwhelms me in a wave of horror I can't quite articulate. I didn't want to watch this movie but my girlfriend and her friend did so I said fuck it. I usually can tell before watching a movie if I will like it or not. Some movies have fooled me and actually were great. Teeth wasn't one of them.

I know this film is saying some shit about sex, it's probably saying we need to be more open with the youth about sex and sex education. That's definitely true. When you don't know about something you often fear it and become fascinated by the mystery of it. Sometimes you end up becoming enthralled by it, addicted to it. I liken this to my addiction for cocaine.

This girl knew nothing about sex, she didn't even know about her own Va Jay Jay. Heck, you gotta be pretty fucking clueless if you thought every guy lost his wang cause the teeth in your cooter clenched down and ripped it off. Gah damn! Did I mention this movie is a bit traumatizing?! I'm all for feminist movies but, SHIT MAN, this is something else.

I don't know really what to say about this movie. I'm at a loss for fuckin words here. Maybe if I put aside the visually disturbing images that haunt my mind daily then, you know, maybe I can find some sort of value here. I dunno, watch it for yourself, or don't. I know I wouldn't, knowing what I know now. But if you do watch it, have a sausage and peppers hero while you watch it. You sick fuckin bastard.