February 28, 2011

Guys are funny sometimes. I love when they say "I'd give it to her..." or "she could get it..." They say these things as if they are a prize or something. When a girl gives me any sort of physical pleasure/attention I fall to my knees and thank them as if they just spared my life. Some dudes really think they can get any girl!

Hall Pass is about two married dudes who like to stare at girls tits and asses. They walk around like fiends making deposits in the spank bank. One the dudes makes his withdrawal in his minivan outside his families house. He can't get any poontang from his wife, but he just can't quite figure out why! Hmm, maybe its got a little something to do with how you made wifey feel second rate to all the street whores walking around town. Nobody is perfect, everyone makes mistakes. Sometimes you need a lesson to really learn the error of your ways.

Enter main plot point! The wives decide, from the advice of Joy Behar, that they should give their husbands one week off from marriage. A "Hall Pass", if you will. This may surprise you, the fact that these woman are willing to let their fuck hungry men loose to flock across the town like wild boar. What surprised me most though was that two people thought it was a good idea to take advice from Joy Behar.

So we witness the pathetic attempts by these men to try and plow hot girls, day after day. Failure after failure, I'd say their game is weak but there is no game at all to critique. These dudes don't even talk to women until a few days into the week. How pathetic! They spent all this time looking at other woman, taking mental photographs of titties to jack off to later at night in the Honda Odyssey, all at the expense of their wives feelings and now that they have their chance they are ordering everything on the menu at applebees and having pot brownies for desert. And you know what the funny thing is? The wives are the ones getting the love and attention from the opposite sex.

Both of the wives get attractive men interested in them. Eventually the numbskull husbands get some promising poontang prospects as well. Some of the characters take the bait, others don't. I won't give away the ending, although I'm sure you know how it's gonna go.

The movie has some funny moments but as a whole I didn't find it to be anything really great. It's just seems pretty predictable and for the most part forgettable. For a comedy, this movie was kinda depressing. What I take away from it isn't the jokes and funny moments but more or less how sad some parts of the movie were. The grass isn't always greener on the other side of the fence, in fact most times its covered in dog turds, with tan marks where the dog pee'd and there's newspapers from months past strewn about because there is nobody around to pick them up.

Also in BLOG


December 11, 2017

One of the best things I've seen in a long time.

Happiness from Steve Cutts on Vimeo.

View full article →

The Beginning: Making Episode 1
The Beginning: Making Episode 1

January 09, 2016

It's not a secret that Star Wars Episode 1 is not only a horrible Star Wars movie, it's just a horrible movie in general. Sitting through it is a task, it's so dense and filled with boring political plot points, bad acting and computer graphics. It feels more like an ILM portfolio showcasing CG techniques rather than a film.

I can remember as a kid watching it for the first time and leaving the theater confused. I thought maybe I wasn't watching as careful as I should have been? I dunno what it was but I felt like I missed something because, its Star Wars, isn't it supposed to be good? I thought, "Did I just black out for most of that movie? Was I daydreaming the whole time?" I begged my parents to take me again, so I could see what I surely missed but they wouldn't take me. I had to wait for it to come out on video when I finally realized that it wasn't just me, this shit really does just suck.

View full article →

Cromags' John Joseph

December 05, 2015

View full article →