April 06, 2011

Insidious is about a family that moves into a house and some freaky ass shit starts going down. I'm sure you're thinking you heard this all before but this time it's not the house that's haunted.  It's a little boy that's haunted by spirits because he decided to fucking astral project a little too goddamn far!  Now you're probably thinking what in the fuck hell is "astral projecting"...well, walk with me ya'll.

Little Dalton likes to project his aura if you will, or his soul, to a space neither here nor there.  There is a place between life and death and supposedly this sick bastard of a child likes to go there when he sleeps.  It's called "astral projecting".  One night he goes a little too far in his astral projecting escapades and gets lost.  When his parents try to wake him up in the morning he is unable to awake, stuck in a coma because he let his soul gallivant all night in the fucking twilight zone until he got lost.  Then a red faced demon and a bunch of dead people's souls start stopping by the poor boy's house.  They want to use Dalton's body, which is now nothing more than a comatose carcass, as a tool for evil.

The first half of the movie is pretty damn good.  I'm a sucker for creepy imagery and this one definitely delivers but after a while the movie just gets kinda corny.  It gets lame towards the end when the father has to go into this world between life and death in search of his son.  It's just too much, it turns kinda silly actually.  And yea, I know, any horror film with undead spirits causing terror could be seen as silly but there is a fine line.  I felt like I was suddenly watching a serious version of Little Monsters or something.  As the film progresses they leave less and less up to your imagination.  After all, it's your imagination that creates your own personal nightmare and when a horror movie doesn't leave anything up to your imagination it tends to be less frightening.

On an unrelated note, I just have to say that the film starts off with this pretty damn long title sequence that just starts to feel ridiculous after a while.  I don't know why some movies have such long title sequences.  I guess to build suspense, perhaps?  I mean do we really have to mention everyone before the movie even starts. I swear I think I saw a title card that said "Directors Mother" and "Producers Prostitute".  Everyone's name comes on screen and then evaporates in this smoke effect and it's kinda cool for the first ten times but then you're like "Really, they're still on this shit?!"

What amazes me most about these movies is how much it takes for the people living in the house to decide to leave. Their threshold for sheer madness and terror is so high it blows me away.  The mother in this film hears loud voices, actually sees undead people in the house and finds bloody hand prints on her comatose sons bed and she just deals with it.  She just takes it out on her husband who stays at work late just so he doesn't have to deal with the spirits fucking around in his house.  They literally argue over it too!  She's all like, "You know, you come home late every night and who has to sit home and deal with the demon?!  ME!  Who has to try and wash out the bloody demon hand prints!?  ME!"  I guess it really wouldn't be much of a movie if it all ended after they ran away from the slightest noise never to return.

The movie starts out really eerie and suspenseful and then it all turns silly. There is nothing amazing here, but nothing so horribly bad either. If you're bored and want to see a mediocre film about some poor little child who is lost in a netherworld full of malevolent undead people and a demon then I guess check it out!

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