April 08, 2012

I kept hearing about the movie Hunger Games and before the movie came out I kept hearing people talk about the book.  I kept hearing about this book/movie so much so that I started to become annoyed by it.  When I feel as though I'll be annoyed by a film, I spend my hard earned dollars and I go and see it.  I did this very thing and here is what I thought of said movie.

Hunger Games stars this girl I never saw before in my entire life.  There is a bunch of other people I never saw before in this movie but they all acted quite well in it and I think you'd agree.  Ironically the two fuckos I do recognize were Woody Harrelson and Lenny Kravitz.  Yea, I'm not joking.  I remember seeing Woody Harrelson and I was like, "Why is this guy in this movie?  I thought this guy was a tool."  Then enters Lenny Kravitz and I'm all like "Hey, this guy is a complete arse as well.  What gives?"

I don't know why people making a serious movie would have somebody like Lenny Kravitz in it.  You don't wanna do anything to take the viewer out of the experience. Having Lenny Kravitz in your serious film is like having a clown or court jester come to your loved ones funeral.  It just doesn't seem to make sense and has no place at all.

Everyone is talking about how this movie is just like Battle Royale.  Well, yea it is.  Its exactly the same but really who gives two flying fucks anyway.  Think about how many movies out there tell the same damn story.  You ever see a romantic comedy?  How bout a movie where there's a person trying to kill young hot women with a knife or other sharp pointy object of his or her preference?  I bet the same people slapping their gums about how this movie is just like Battle Royale are the same people who watched every Saw movie.  I think you get my point.

If you are unfamiliar with Battle Royale or Hunger Games, the premise is quite simple.  Young men and women are chosen to fight to the death against each other until there is one left standing.  In this film, a young woman named Katniss volunteers herself over her younger sister who was originally chosen.  It's an honest and caring move by Katniss because both her and the audience know that her younger sister is nothing but an insolent fool that is very stupid and has little to no self confidence.   At one point she says to Katniss "I wish I looked like you"  Wow, what a weak thing to say, stupid bitch.  There's no way in hell that she would have survived even one second in the hunger games but her older sister...well, that chick bad!  Katniss is really smart, she's good with a bow and arrow, she's good under pressure, she climbs trees with ease, she is caring and just seems like a really great friend!  You go, girl!

Hunger Games takes place in a world that is controlled by the people running the games.  There's this big huge digital sphere that covers the land where the games take place or maybe the whole dang thang is a digital map, I don't really know.  Either way, these sick fucks can change the day to night, add some beastly animals to the map, create fires through the use of massive fireballs and whatever other demented sick sadistic shit they think up.  They make sure to keep the games interesting and keep the constants lives miserable!  Essentially Hunger Games is just like any other reality TV show except people are really dying, so it's a whole lot better!

If you dig young adults, teens, tweens, and preteens fighting each other to the death then I really can't think of any other movie better than this.  Well, there's also that other movie, Battle Royale...but whatever.  Slunk on out to your local theater and enjoy the carnage!

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