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LAST VEGAS

November 28, 2013

My friend told me I should watch this Last Vegas movie because it looked pretty horrible and I could probably rip into it. Unfortunately, depending on how you're looking at it, the movie wasnt so bad after all. It was like a geriatric version of The Hangover, so it's a lot tamer and nobody gets kidnapped or black out drunk...fuckin squares.

Michael Douglas stars as Billy, an old man about to marry a 31 year old girl, which is about half his age. Now I aint sayin she a gold digga but she ain't messin with no broke...er...you get the point. Anyways, Billy has three life long friends played by Robert DeNiro, Morgan Freeman and Kevin Kline. They are determined to throw Billy the best bachelor party that three near death men can throw.

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Robert DeNiro plays the old curmudgeon, Patty, who has to be tricked into going on the trip because he's got some longstanding beef with Billy. Patty has a real chip on his shoulder and throughout pretty much the whole film he's a serious buzzkill. The rest of the guys are just like "Patey, why don't you just clean the sand out of your fuckin vagina already! We tryin turn up over here, ya dumb fuck!"

Morgan Freeman and Kevin Kline play Archie and Sam, they're the most neutral characters in the film. They are just happy to be outta the house. Archie just wants to play some Blackjack and hit the dance floor. Sam just wants to pop his viagra pill and stick his dickle doodle doo in some 20 something year old with daddy issues.

Long story short, these convalescent men grab their pills and jump on a plane to vegas! As you'd expect these guys are a little out of the loop so they get thrown into situations that they arent too familiar with. For example, they discover what it's like waiting on line at a club, what red bull and vodkas are and how to open and close the blinds from a touchscreen computer. It's all really riveting shit.

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Although the movie has it's moments, I wouldnt say it was all that funny. It was mostly old men bickering with each other or proving to younger people that they still got it. I guess what makes this movie decent is the underlying theme that while you're alive you better live and id have to agree. Do like these guys do! Pop a viagra, down a red bull and vodka, throw a party in a vegas resort and slam the door in 50 Cents face when he asks to join!

There's this scene when Archie's son comes all the way to vegas to check up on his dad who he thought was on a "church trip". He's worried sick and kinda talks to his dad as if he's a lost child. Archie basically tells his son to hop off and let him live, he ain't dead yet. There was something about that scene that was really emotional for me. I really like to see people defending their right to party, especially if they are geriatric.

It's not a really memorable flick and its a pretty predictable as well. That being said, theres something nice about it. I enjoyed seeing these guys leave their recliners and get a little crazy. I also liked seeing the dude from LMFAO shake his nuts in Robert Deniro's face.






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